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Ever had a whopping big old-fashioned crush on someone and walked away from a
conversation pondering if the person was flirting with you? Or were they just being friendly?
Ahh, the subtle signs of attraction can be a tricky thing to suss out.
So when I stumbled upon a new study that deciphers the ways women flirt, I thought, great, let’s see if I do any of the mentioned things. Listen, I’m going to be very honest with you … it’s ridiculously tame! Yep, get ready because what this study found as a sure-fire way to know if a girl is flirting with you can be put down to just one pose.
The researchers used a Facial Action Coding System and it showed the most effective flirting cues include a head turned to one side and tilted down slightly, a slight smile, and eyes turned forward toward the implied target. Think Princess Diana.
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Yep. So, real scientists did a real study on flirting and all they came up with is that if a girl tilts her head to the side and has a slight smile on her face, oh it is on! Groundbreaking.
The only problem is … I think I basically do this to everyone. Isn’t that just how we look when we’re chatting away? Good lord, poor Butcher Greg is going to think I go ga ga for his pork chops!
As a born flirt, I find there are much easier and obvious ways to tell if a girl is flirting with you then just a stupid head tilt and smile. No, no, no! Here are the real ways to tell if a girl is into you:
1. We fix our hair as soon as you walk into the room. Yep, like proud lions, more often then not our mane is our pride and joy. So should you walk in on us unexpected, for some reason we go straight to the hair. I like to prop mine up with some extra volume. Yes, the trusty hair flick.
2. We laugh a ridiculous amount. Often at things that aren’t that funny. Energy feeds on energy, and when your heart is getting all fluttery, you tend to overemphasise reactions. “Oh hahahaha that knock knock joke was HILARIOUS!”
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3. We go straight in for the hug or kiss when greeting you. Any excuse to touch is usually a sure-fire sign we’re into you. (As a sidenote: may I suggest if you’re going to be around someone you like, dose up on the cologne. It can turn a bloke who is a five into an instant eight if you get our sensors stimulated).
4. We catch your eye. When we’re interested in a bloke we want to know if they are looking at us the same way as we are them. We also unintentionally want to keep tabs on where you are. So if you’re in a room full of people and you see us gaze over at you a few times, there’s a fair chance we want to say hi.
5. Touch. We tend to stroke our hair or play with our necklace. Anything to distract us from nervous excitement.
6. Fiddle with our clothes. Like our hair, we want to look like we’re “put together”. When a crush is around, we tend to check our top is done up properly, our necklace is sitting where it should, our boobs aren’t looking saggy, and our skirt is smooth. We give ourselves a quick once over.
7. Asking for help for something we already know how to do. This is slightly embarrassing, but we’ll do anything for an extra five minutes of attention.
8. We drop references to movies you like, or bands you’re into, or books you’ve read. “Oh look, your interest is my interest too!” It’s like a cheat’s guide to creating an instant connection with someone. I remember my crush gave a self-help book to his mate for Christmas and I instantly went out and bought it. Cringe.
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8. We tag you in things we know you will like on social media. Yes, it feels a bit like something teenagers would do, but who doesn’t like a good laugh. We’re also testing the waters to see if you have the same dark/silly/ridiculous sense of humour that we do.
9. And finally … an absolute sign that we are flirting with you is … if we have open body language. Now guys, this is a big one! For some reason so many blokes will ignore the uninterested body language and keep forcing you into a conversation. If we’re facing you, making eye contact, laughing along with you and giving off a friendly vibe, chances are you could be in with a shot. If we seem a bit uninterested or distracted, crossing our arms, and backing away, it’s because, to put it bluntly, we’re really not interested.
Now, go forth and flirt up a storm.
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking | Jana (with a J)
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